If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume Oscar said it.

Oscar Wilde

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More from Dorothy Parker

Poets alone should kiss and tell.

"The Portable Dorothy Parker"

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.

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Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Every year, back comes Spring,
with nasty little birds yapping
their fool heads off and the ground
all mucked up with plants.

Hollywood money isn’t money. It’s congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.