It costs me never a stab or squirm
to tread by chance upon a worm
“Aha, my little dear,” I say,
“Your clan will pay me back one day.”

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More from Dorothy Parker

Poets alone should kiss and tell.

"The Portable Dorothy Parker"

If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume Oscar said it.

Oscar Wilde

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.

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Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Every year, back comes Spring,
with nasty little birds yapping
their fool heads off and the ground
all mucked up with plants.