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More from Mark Twain

When even the brightest mind in our world has been trained up from childhood in a superstition of any kind, it will never be possible for that mind, in its maturity, to examine sincerely, dispassionately, and conscientiously any evidence or any circumstance which shall seem to cast a doubt upon the validity of that superstition. I doubt if I could do it myself.

Is Shakespeare Dead? (1909)

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

If the man doesn’t believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can’t burn him.

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar (1894).

No man should [do that] unless he is the King of England — or has a tapeworm.

on whether people in public life should refer to themselves in the third-person