Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.
An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Always listen to experts. They’ll tell you what can’t be done, and why. Then do it.
When the ship lifts, all bills are paid. No regrets.
Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect.
You live and learn. Or you don’t live long.
Certainly the game is rigged. Don’t let that stop you; if you don’t bet you can’t win.
A woman is not property, and husbands who think otherwise are living in a dreamworld.
A fake fortune teller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind, it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate, and quickly.
Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.
There is no conclusive evidence of life after death. But there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know. So why fret about it?
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.
Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.
Never try to out stubborn a cat.
A brute kills for pleasure. A fool kills from hate.
Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.
Delusions are often functional. A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseum, keep her from drowning them at birth.
The more you love, the more you can love and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.
One man’s theology is another man’s belly laugh.