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More from Wilson Mizner

Stop dying. Am trying to write a comedy.

Telegram to his brother, upon the news that Addison was fatally ill.

It’s getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

Life’s a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.