I don’t do drugs any more…than the average touring funk band.

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More from Bill Hicks

I just cannot, you know, believe in a war against drugs when they’ve got anti-drug commercials on TV all day long, followed by, “This Bud’s for you.”

Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thought, that’s their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thought. Hmm. Sounds like…every commercial on television, doesn’t it? You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I’m not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, maybe that’s the connection they’re trying to make. What? You’ve all seen that Busch beer commercial, where the girl in the short hot pants opens the beer bottle on her belt buckle, leaves it there, and it foams over her hand and over the bottle and the voice over goes, “Get yourself a BUSCH.” Hmm. You know what that looks like, nah, no way.

How about a positive LSD story, that would be newsworthy. Don’t you think? Anybody think that? Just once, to hear a positive LSD story. “Today, a young man on acid, realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves… here’s Tom with the weather.”