George Carlin


Nobody goes right to work. I mean, screw the company – those first twenty minutes belong to you.

Most people are paid just enough to keep them from quitting, for working just hard enough to keep from getting fired.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.

I used to be Irish Catholic; now I’m an American.

The Pope wears loafers.

Napalm and Silly Putty