Janeane Garofalo

Quotations

I think that by staying out of shape at the age of 33 I’m doing myself a huge favor for my future. There will never be anyone commenting on how I’ve ‘let myself go.’ I’ve gone. It’s gone. It’s not going, it’s GONE.

Being popular and well liked is not in your best interest. Let me be more clear; if you behave in a manner pleasing to most, then you are probably doing something wrong. The masses have never been arbiters of the sublime, and they often fail to recognize the truly great individual. Taking into account the public’s regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in.

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.

You know George W. Bush is a war-time president, he says – proudly. Guess what. War is failure! When you are at war, you have failed! When you have gone to a war of choice and lied about it, you’re a double-triple, triple-quadruple failure! Or a warlord. It’s called a warlord in other countries. A war time president here. One man’s ceiling I guess is another man’s floor. George Bush is a warlord. He’s a failure!

Anybody who french bashes just might as well wear a badge that says ‘I am a follower! I don’t think for myself and I have no idea what I’m talking about.’ That would be a french basher.