Robin Williams: When this whole thing happened, I thought the Statue of Liberty would change. Instead of “Give me your tired and your poor,” it would be her with a baseball bat going “You want a piece of me.”

Regarding the 9/11 attacks. Robin Williams: Live on Broadway (2002)

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Jesus was an only child, and thank God, because who would want to be Jerry, the brother of Christ? That’s a tough gig. I’d imagine he ends up in a bar at the age of 30 going: “Yeah, I’m Jerry Christ, whoop dee doo. Jesus is a carpenter, I’m a plumber; you do the math! Yeah, I healed someone. Come here Spot, heel! Look at that!”

Canada’s like a loft apartment over a really great party.