What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife — a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it’s being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
Some guy hit my car fender the other day, and I said unto him, “Be fruitful and multiply.” But not in those words.
The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. I think that the worst you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever.
Annie Hall: It’s so clean out here.
Alvy Singer: That’s because they don’t throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Can we actually “know” the universe? My God, it’s hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown.