Mr. Stratford: Hey, I’ve got news for you. I’m down with it, I got the 411, and you’re not gettin’ jiggy with some guy. I dont care how dope his ride is.

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Bianca: Where did you come from? Planet loser?
Kat: As Opposed to Planet Look At Me! Look At ME!

Mr. Stratford: I want you to wear the belly.
Bianca: Daddy, no!
Mr. Stratford: Not all night, just around the living room for a minute so you can understand the full weight of your decisions.
Bianca: I am perfectly aware-
Mr. Statford: Listen to me, every time you even think about kissing a boy, picture yourself wearing this under your halter top.

Mr. Morgan: All right, not that I give a damn but how was everybody’s weekend?
Joey: Oh I dunno, why don’t you ask Kat?
Mr. Morgan: Unless she kicked the crap outta your dumb butt, I don’t wanna hear about it!

Mr. Stratford: And I’ll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren’t out being impregnated.

Mr. Statford: No drinking. No drugs. No kissing. No tattoos. No piercings. No ritual animal slaughters of any kind. Oh God, I’m giving them ideas.