Kat: Tell me something true.
Patrick: Something true… I hate peas.
Mr. Stratford: Hello Katriana, make anyone cry today?
Kat: Sadly no, but it’s only 4:30.
Mr Stratford: Isn’t Sarah Laurence on the other side of the country?
Kat: Thus the basis of its appeal.
Patrick: Hey there girlie! How are you doin’?
Kat: Sweating like a pig actually, and yourself?
Patrick: Now there’s a way to get a guy’s attention, ha?
Kat: My mission in life, but obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked. The world makes sense again.
Bianca: Where did you come from? Planet loser?
Kat: As Opposed to Planet Look At Me! Look At ME!
Kat Stratford: Bogey’s party is just a lame excuse for all the idiots in our school to drink beer and rub up against each other in hopes of distracting themselves from the pathetic emptiness of their meaningless…
Bianca, Chastity: …meaningless, consumer-driven lives.
Patrick: Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl.
Kat Stratford: Is that right?
Patrick: Yeah, but I screwed up. I fell for her.
Mr. Stratford: And I’ll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren’t out being impregnated.
Mr. Stratford: I want you to wear the belly.
Bianca: Daddy, no!
Mr. Stratford: Not all night, just around the living room for a minute so you can understand the full weight of your decisions.
Bianca: I am perfectly aware-
Mr. Statford: Listen to me, every time you even think about kissing a boy, picture yourself wearing this under your halter top.
Mr. Morgan: All right, not that I give a damn but how was everybody’s weekend?
Joey: Oh I dunno, why don’t you ask Kat?
Mr. Morgan: Unless she kicked the crap outta your dumb butt, I don’t wanna hear about it!
Mr. Stratford: This morning I delivered a set of twins to a 15 year old girl. You know what she said to me?
Bianca: I’m a crack whore who should have made her sleazy boyfriend wear a condom?
Mr. Statford: No drinking. No drugs. No kissing. No tattoos. No piercings. No ritual animal slaughters of any kind. Oh God, I’m giving them ideas.
Patrick: It’s not every day you find a girl who’ll flash someone to get you out of detention.
Boy: Maybe if we were the last two people on earth and there was no sheep. Are there sheep?
Kat: You don’t always have to be who they want you to be, you know.
Michael: Put her in your spank bank and move on.
Kat: I want you to stop trying to control my life just because you can’t control yours!
Michael: I have a question before we start. Do you think that’s safe considering you don’t have a liver?
Micheal: Never mind.
Mr. Stratford: Where’s your sister going?
Kat: She’s meeting some bikers, big ones, full of sperm.