Ralphie: Only one thing in the world could’ve dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.

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More from A Christmas Story

Ralphie: Randy lay there like a slug…it was his only defense.

Dad: “Fra-gee-lay” …it must be Italian!
Mom: I think that says “fragile”, honey.
Dad: Oh, yeah.

Ralphie: I want an official Red Rider carbine action 200 shot range model air rifle.
Mom: No, you’ll shot your eye out.

Randy: I can’t put my arms down!!

Ralphie: In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obsenity that as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.