Carol: Sometimes you must try other people’s clean silverware, as part of the fun of eating out.

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More from As Good As It Gets

Simon: You’re why cavemen chiseled on walls.

Carol: Come on in, and try not to ruin everything by being you.

Melvin: Some have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that’s their story. Good times. Noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you’re that pissed that so many others had it good.

Carol: When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome… and then, of course, you spoke.

Melvin: You make me want to be a better man.