Betelgeuse: Well, I attended Julliard, I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen The Exorcist about 167 times and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it! Not to mention the fact that you’re talking to a dead guy. Now what do you think? You think I’m qualified?

Betelgeuse: Go ahead…make my millennium!

Otho: Don’t mind her. She’s just upset that someone dropped a house on her sister.

Otho: Ugh. Deliver me from L.L. Bean.

Charles: And look at that kitchen. You’re finally going to be able to cook a decent meal.

Adam: Barb, honey… we’re dead. I don’t think we have very much to worry about anymore.

Adam: We’re not completely helpless, Barbara. I’ve been reading that book and there’s a word for people in our situation: ghosts.

Delia: Lydia, I have a chance to teach you something here. You have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they’re dead or alive, will walk all over you.

Betelgeuse: Ya bunch of losers. You’re workin’ with a professional here!

Lydia: My life is one big dark-room.