Principal: Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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More from Billy Madison

Billy: I will not make out with you! Mr. Chlorophyll up there is talking about God knows what and you want to make out with me!? Well I’m here to learn sister. (turning to teacher) Continue.

Billy: Okay Mr. Penguin. I’m gonna take you to the zoo where you’ll meet some nice people, they’ll treat you real respectable like.

Norm: (wakes up) H-Hey Billy I..? Where’s Billy at?
Friend: At school.
Norm: Oh, yeah.

Teacher: Who the hell would steal 32 lunches?

Billy: Hey sideburns, you want some of this milk?
Janitor. I’d rather have a beer.