Billy: I will not make out with you! Mr. Chlorophyll up there is talking about God knows what and you want to make out with me!? Well I’m here to learn sister. (turning to teacher) Continue.

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More from Billy Madison

Maid: If you stay home, you can help me shave my armpits.
Billy: I’ll go to school.

Billy: Wait a minute. What day is it?
Norm: October?
Billy: Nudie magazine day!!

Billy (to young student having difficulty reading): ta ta Tah-day, Junior!

Billy Madison: Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better! I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! (Notices gold swan on edge of tub) Stop looking at me, swan!

Principal: Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.