Daisy: Eugene. You didn’t say one wrong thing in that whole conversation.

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Toomey: Epstein, Arnold B.
Epstein: Ho, ho!
Toomey: Are there two Arnold Epsteins in this company?
Epstein: No, sergeant.
Toomey: But I heard more than one Ho.
Epstein: Yes, sergeant.
Toomey: Epstein, Arnold B.
Epstein: Ho!
Toomey: One more time.
Epstein: Ho!
Toomey: Do I make myself clear, Epstein?
Epstein: Ho!
Toomey: Do I make myself clear, Jerome?
Jerome: Ho, yes!
Toomey: Ho what?
Jerome: Ho nothing!
Toomey: Are you having trouble understanding me, Jerome?
Jerome: Ho no. I mean, no ho, sergeant. Just plain ho.

Eugene: Man it’s hot. It’s like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn’t take this kind of hot.

Epstein: Why do you think I’m a homosexual?
Eugene: I don’t know.
Eugene: Maybe it’s because you never once talked about a girl.
Epstein: I never talk about dogs either. Does that make me a cocker spaniel?

Toomey: You would need three promotions to be an asshole.

Epstein: You have to take sides. You have to fight the good fight.
Jerome: What fight?!
Epstein: Any fight. Until you do, you’ll never be a writer Jerome.