Taggart: Telegraph the main office, tell them I said OW!
Charlie: They said you was hung.
Bart: And they was right.
Jim: You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.
Taggart: Piss on you! I’m working for Mel Brooks!
Reverend Johnson: Now I don’t have to tell you good folks what’s been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I’m leaving.
Taggart: I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: What?
Taggart: Let’s kill every first born male child in Rock Ridge.
Hedley Lamarr: Nah, too Jewish.
Jim: Oh boys, lookee what I got heyuh.
Bart: Hey, where the white women at.
Taggart: You use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
Bart: Stampeding cattle.
Lamar: Thats not much of a qualification.
Bart: Through The Vatican?
Lamar: Kinky… Sign here.