Reverend Johnson: Now I don’t have to tell you good folks what’s been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I’m leaving.

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Jim: Oh boys, lookee what I got heyuh.
Bart: Hey, where the white women at.

to two members of the KKK

Taggart: You use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

Lamar: Qualifications?
Bart: Stampeding cattle.
Lamar: Thats not much of a qualification.
Bart: Through The Vatican?
Lamar: Kinky… Sign here.