Taggart: I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: What?
Taggart: Let’s kill every first born male child in Rock Ridge.
Hedley Lamarr: Nah, too Jewish.

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Lamar: Qualifications?
Bart: Stampeding cattle.
Lamar: Thats not much of a qualification.
Bart: Through The Vatican?
Lamar: Kinky… Sign here.

Taggart: Telegraph the main office, tell them I said OW!

Charlie: They said you was hung.
Bart: And they was right.

Jim: You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

Taggart: Piss on you! I’m working for Mel Brooks!