Blair Litton: Except for socially, you’re my role model.
captivating quotations from movies, television, literature and people - curated by actual geeks.
Aaron: They told me they’d keep me because they could plug me into any story and my salary was in line.
Ernie: The cost-efficient reporter.
Aaron: So I quit.
Employee: You know, I’m just old enough to be flattered by the term “early retirement.”
Paul: That’s wonderful. What a lovely line. Now, if there’s anything I can do for you…
Employee: Well, I certainly hope you’ll die soon.
Tom: What do you do when your real life exceeds your dreams?
Aaron: Keep it to yourself.
Aaron: Come on, no one’s going to be taken in by a guy with a long red pointy tail. Come on, what’s he going to sound like?…I’m semi serious here. He will be attractive, he’ll be nice, and helpful, he’ll get a job where he influences a great God fearing nation. He’ll never do an evil thing, he’ll never deliberately hurt a living thing – he’ll just bit by little bit lower our standards where they’re important. Just a tiny little bit. Just coax along flash over substance. Just a tiny little bit. And he’ll talk about all of us really being salesman. And he’ll get all the great women.
Blair Litton: Oh, you think anyone who’s proud of the work we do is an ass-kisser.
Aaron Altman: No, I think anyone who puckers up their lips and presses it against their bosses buttocks and then smooches is an ass-kisser.
Blair Litton: My gosh…and for a while there I was attracted to you.
Aaron Altman: Well, wait a minute, that changes everything!