Aaron Altman: Let’s never forget, we’re the real story, not them.

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Aaron: They told me they’d keep me because they could plug me into any story and my salary was in line.
Ernie: The cost-efficient reporter.
Aaron: So I quit.

Employee: You know, I’m just old enough to be flattered by the term “early retirement.”
Paul: That’s wonderful. What a lovely line. Now, if there’s anything I can do for you…
Employee: Well, I certainly hope you’ll die soon.

Blair Litton: Except for socially, you’re my role model.

Aaron: Hey, if anything happens to me, you tell every woman I’ve ever gone out with that I was talking about her at the end. That way they’ll have to re-evaluate me.

Blair Litton: Oh, you think anyone who’s proud of the work we do is an ass-kisser.
Aaron Altman: No, I think anyone who puckers up their lips and presses it against their bosses buttocks and then smooches is an ass-kisser.
Blair Litton: My gosh…and for a while there I was attracted to you.
Aaron Altman: Well, wait a minute, that changes everything!