Aaron Altman: Let’s never forget, we’re the real story, not them.

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Aaron: They told me they’d keep me because they could plug me into any story and my salary was in line.
Ernie: The cost-efficient reporter.
Aaron: So I quit.

Employee: You know, I’m just old enough to be flattered by the term “early retirement.”
Paul: That’s wonderful. What a lovely line. Now, if there’s anything I can do for you…
Employee: Well, I certainly hope you’ll die soon.

Paul: Okay, that’s your opinion.
Jane: It’s not opinion.
Paul: You’re just absolutely right, and I’m absolutely wrong. It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you’re the smartest person in the room.
Jane: No, it’s awful.

Tom: What do you do when your real life exceeds your dreams?
Aaron: Keep it to yourself.

Aaron: Come on, no one’s going to be taken in by a guy with a long red pointy tail. Come on, what’s he going to sound like?…I’m semi serious here. He will be attractive, he’ll be nice, and helpful, he’ll get a job where he influences a great God fearing nation. He’ll never do an evil thing, he’ll never deliberately hurt a living thing – he’ll just bit by little bit lower our standards where they’re important. Just a tiny little bit. Just coax along flash over substance. Just a tiny little bit. And he’ll talk about all of us really being salesman. And he’ll get all the great women.