Aunt Bethany: Don’t throw me down, Clark.
Clark: Oh I’ll try not to, Aunt Bethany.

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More from Christmas Vacation

Eddie: He’s cute, ain’t he? Only problem is, he’s got a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right, he’ll grab your leg, and just go to town. You don’t want him around if you’re wearing short pants if you know what I mean. A word of warning though: If he does lay into you, it’s best to just let him finish.

Ellen: Clark, what’s wrong? It’s bigger than you expected? Smaller? What is it?
Clark: It’s a one year membership in the jelly of the month club.
Eddie: Clark, that’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.

Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?
Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

Clark: Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.
Rusty Griswold: Dad, I think you mean burn rubber and eat my dust.
Clark: Whatever, Russ. Whatever.

Clark: Well I’m gonna park the cars and get check the luggage, and well, I’ll be outside for the season.