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Mrs. White: He threatened to kill me in public.
Miss Scarlet: Why would he want to kill you in public?
Wadsworth: I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.
Miss Scarlet: Oh.

Mrs. White: Husbands should be like Kleenex. Soft, strong, and disposable.

Mrs. White: Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage.