Wadsworth: I can explain everything…
Cop: You don’t have to.
Wadsworth: I don’t?
Cop: No, there’s nothing illegal about any of this.
Wadsworth: Are you sure?
Cop: Of course, this is America!
Wadsworth: I see…
Cop: It’s a free country, don’t you know that?
Wadsworth: I didn’t know it was THAT free!

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Wadsworth: Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.
Prof. Plum: Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
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Mr. Green: No, I’m a plant.
Miss Scarlet: A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit.
Mr. Green: Very funny.

Miss Scarlet: Why is the car stopped?
Professor Plum: It’s frightened.

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Wadsworth: I am merely a humble butler.
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Wadsworth: I buttle, sir.