Clueless

Quotations

Tai: Cher, you’re a virgin?
Cher: You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Dion: Besides, the PC term is ‘Hymenally Challenged’.

Cher: Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there’s no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.

Mel: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?
Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion. You proud?
Mel: Honey, I couldn’t be happier than if they were based on real grades.

Heather: It’s just like Hamlet said, “To thine own self be true.”
Cher: Hamlet didn’t say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn’t say that. That Polonius guy did.

Dionne: Hello? There was a stop sign back there.
Cher: I totally paused.

Cher: I want to do something for humanity.
Josh: How about sterilization?

Josh: Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.
Cher: I am. You try driving in platforms.

Mel: What the hell is that?
Cher: A dress.
Mel: Says who?
Cher: Calvin Klein.

Cher: Searching for a boy in high school is like searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.

Mel: Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.

Cher: D, would you call me selfish?
Dionne: No, not to your face.

Cher: This is a second notice for outstanding parking tickets. I don’t remember getting a first notice.
Mel: The ticket is the first notice!

Cher: If it’s a concussion, you have to keep her conscious, okay? Ask her questions.
Elton: What’s seven times seven?
Cher: Stuff she knows!

Murray: Your friend Christian is a cakeboy!
Cher: A what?
Murray: He’s a disco-dancin’, Oscar Wilde readin’, Streisand ticket holdin’ friend of Dorothy. You know what I’m saying.
Cher: Nu-uh. No way.
Murray: He’s gay!
Dionne: He does like to shop Cher, and the boy can dress.

Tai: What am I listening to you for anyway? You’re a virgin who can’t drive.

Josh: You know, if I ever saw you do something that wasn’t ninety percent selfish, I’d die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that’d be reason enough for me.

Cher: I had an overwhelming sense of ickiness.

Cher: Hey, granola breath! You’ve got something on your chin.
Josh: I’m growing a goatee.
Cher: Hmmm. You don’t want to be the last one at the coffeehouse without chin pubes.

Cher: It’s like that book I read in the 9th grade that said “’tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people.”

Cher: Believe it or not, the evil trolls in the Math department were actually married. Oohhh, Snickers! And in the grand tradition of PE teachers, Ms. Stoger seemed to be same-sex oriented.

Cher: So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair – ew – and cover it up with a backwards cap and we’re supposed to swoon? I don’t think so!

Cher: Lucy, you know I don’t speak Mexican!
Lucy: I ah not a Mexican!

Mel: Don’t tell me those brain-dead lowlifes are calling me again.
Cher: They are your parents.

Mr. Hall: Could all conversation please come to a halt? And could the the suicide attempts wait until next period?

Cher: Isn’t my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.