Cher: Searching for a boy in high school is like searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.

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Cher: This is a second notice for outstanding parking tickets. I don’t remember getting a first notice.
Mel: The ticket is the first notice!

Cher: If it’s a concussion, you have to keep her conscious, okay? Ask her questions.
Elton: What’s seven times seven?
Cher: Stuff she knows!

Murray: Your friend Christian is a cakeboy!
Cher: A what?
Murray: He’s a disco-dancin’, Oscar Wilde readin’, Streisand ticket holdin’ friend of Dorothy. You know what I’m saying.
Cher: Nu-uh. No way.
Murray: He’s gay!
Dionne: He does like to shop Cher, and the boy can dress.

Tai: What am I listening to you for anyway? You’re a virgin who can’t drive.

Josh: You know, if I ever saw you do something that wasn’t ninety percent selfish, I’d die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that’d be reason enough for me.