Cher: I had an overwhelming sense of ickiness.

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Josh: We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree.
Cher: Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees. Josh, why don’t you just hire a gardener?

Tai: Cher, you’re a virgin?
Cher: You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Dion: Besides, the PC term is ‘Hymenally Challenged’.

Cher: Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there’s no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.

Mel: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?
Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion. You proud?
Mel: Honey, I couldn’t be happier than if they were based on real grades.

Heather: It’s just like Hamlet said, “To thine own self be true.”
Cher: Hamlet didn’t say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn’t say that. That Polonius guy did.