Cher: I had an overwhelming sense of ickiness.

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Mel: What the hell is that?
Cher: A dress.
Mel: Says who?
Cher: Calvin Klein.

Cher: Searching for a boy in high school is like searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.

Mel: Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.

Cher: D, would you call me selfish?
Dionne: No, not to your face.

Cher: This is a second notice for outstanding parking tickets. I don’t remember getting a first notice.
Mel: The ticket is the first notice!