Mel: Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.

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Heather: It’s just like Hamlet said, “To thine own self be true.”
Cher: Hamlet didn’t say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn’t say that. That Polonius guy did.

Mel: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?
Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion. You proud?
Mel: Honey, I couldn’t be happier than if they were based on real grades.

Cher: I want to do something for humanity.
Josh: How about sterilization?

Dionne: Hello? There was a stop sign back there.
Cher: I totally paused.

Mel: What the hell is that?
Cher: A dress.
Mel: Says who?
Cher: Calvin Klein.