Mel: Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.

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Mel: Don’t tell me those brain-dead lowlifes are calling me again.
Cher: They are your parents.

Cher: Lucy, you know I don’t speak Mexican!
Lucy: I ah not a Mexican!

Cher: Isn’t my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.

Mr. Hall: Could all conversation please come to a halt? And could the the suicide attempts wait until next period?

Cher: He does dress better than I do. What would I bring to the relationship?