Josh: You know, if I ever saw you do something that wasn’t ninety percent selfish, I’d die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that’d be reason enough for me.

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Cher: He does dress better than I do. What would I bring to the relationship?

Mr. Hall: Cher, two tardies.
Cher: I object! Do you recall the dates of these alleged tardies?
Mr. Hall: One was last Monday.
Cher: Mr. Hall, I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the Ladies.

Mel: Do you know what time it is?
Cher: A watch doesn’t really go with this outfit, daddy.

Dionne: Phat! Did you write that?
Cher: Duh, it’s like a famous quote.
Dionne: From where?
Cher: Cliff’s Notes.

Mel: What’s with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?