Cher: It’s like that book I read in the 9th grade that said “’tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people.”

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Mr. Hall: Could all conversation please come to a halt? And could the the suicide attempts wait until next period?

Cher: He does dress better than I do. What would I bring to the relationship?

Mr. Hall: Cher, two tardies.
Cher: I object! Do you recall the dates of these alleged tardies?
Mr. Hall: One was last Monday.
Cher: Mr. Hall, I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the Ladies.

Mel: Do you know what time it is?
Cher: A watch doesn’t really go with this outfit, daddy.

Dionne: Phat! Did you write that?
Cher: Duh, it’s like a famous quote.
Dionne: From where?
Cher: Cliff’s Notes.