Cher: It’s like that book I read in the 9th grade that said “’tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people.”

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Cher: Believe it or not, the evil trolls in the Math department were actually married. Oohhh, Snickers! And in the grand tradition of PE teachers, Ms. Stoger seemed to be same-sex oriented.

Mel: Don’t tell me those brain-dead lowlifes are calling me again.
Cher: They are your parents.

Cher: Lucy, you know I don’t speak Mexican!
Lucy: I ah not a Mexican!

Cher: Isn’t my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.

Mr. Hall: Could all conversation please come to a halt? And could the the suicide attempts wait until next period?