Cher: So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair – ew – and cover it up with a backwards cap and we’re supposed to swoon? I don’t think so!

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Josh: You want to practice parking?
Cher: What’s the point? Everywhere you go has valet.

Cher: Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there’s no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.

Tai: Cher, you’re a virgin?
Cher: You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Dion: Besides, the PC term is ‘Hymenally Challenged’.

Heather: It’s just like Hamlet said, “To thine own self be true.”
Cher: Hamlet didn’t say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn’t say that. That Polonius guy did.

Mel: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?
Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion. You proud?
Mel: Honey, I couldn’t be happier than if they were based on real grades.