Mel: Don’t tell me those brain-dead lowlifes are calling me again.
Cher: They are your parents.

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Christian: Do you like Billie Holiday?
Cher: I love him!

Cher: Do you prefer “fashion victim” or “ensembly challenged”?

Josh: We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree.
Cher: Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees. Josh, why don’t you just hire a gardener?

Josh: You want to practice parking?
Cher: What’s the point? Everywhere you go has valet.

Cher: Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there’s no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.