Cher: I want to do something for humanity.
Josh: How about sterilization?

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Josh: You know, if I ever saw you do something that wasn’t ninety percent selfish, I’d die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that’d be reason enough for me.

Cher: Hey, granola breath! You’ve got something on your chin.
Josh: I’m growing a goatee.
Cher: Hmmm. You don’t want to be the last one at the coffeehouse without chin pubes.

Cher: It’s like that book I read in the 9th grade that said “’tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people.”

Cher: Believe it or not, the evil trolls in the Math department were actually married. Oohhh, Snickers! And in the grand tradition of PE teachers, Ms. Stoger seemed to be same-sex oriented.

Cher: So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair – ew – and cover it up with a backwards cap and we’re supposed to swoon? I don’t think so!