LLoyd Christmas: You know, the elderly, although slow, and dangerous behind the wheel, can serve a purpose. Don’t you go dying on me now.
Harry: She wrote me a john-dear letter…something about me not listening enough, I don’t know…I wasn’t really paying attention.
Lloyd: Lovely accent you have there…New Jersey?
Lloyd: Austria?…well then, good day mate. let’s put another shrimp on the barbie.
Lady: Let’s not.
Harry: According to the map, we’ve only gone four inches.
Lloyd: Excuse me Flo!? (snickers) It’s from the movie…umm…what’s the Soup de Jour?
Waitress: It’s the soup of the day.
Lloyd: Ooohh…that sounds good, I’ll have that.
Lloyd: Some place warm, a place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.
Harry: I don’t know Lloyd, the French are assholes.
Harry: Look at the fun bags on that hose hound.
Lloyd: I’d like to eat her liver with some farver beans and a nice bottle of Chianti.
Harry: You know what really champs my ass?
Harry: I spent the last of my life savings turning my van into a dog. It cost me 200 bucks for the alarm system alone!
Lloyd: Oh,chicks love it, it’s a shaggin’ wagon!