Debra: Hey Lucas, is it true you committed the perfect crime?
Lucas: Not entirely perfect.

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Eddie: Can I ask you something? Do you know where Harvard is?
A.J.: It’s near Boston.
Eddie: No I mean, do you really know where Harvard is? It’s another planet man- another universe. Totally unlike the one we know. Filled with big blond guys who eat ivy and row boats. What I’m trying to say is, you and Corey just aren’t made for each other. She’s different from you.

Lucas: Mark, who’s your favorite singer?
Mark: Axl.
Lucas: Well if Axl Rose was driving down the highway, and saw Rex Manning stranded on the side of the road, do you think Axl Rose would stop and help him?
Mark:… Does Axl have a jack?

Gina: Welcome to MusicTown, may I service you?

Lucas: Mitchell’s the man Joe.
Joe: And the man calls all the shots.
Lucas: Damn the man.
Joe: Let me explain it to you. Mitchell’s the man. I’m the idiot. You’re the screw-up. And we’re all losers. Welcome to music town.

Lucas: Joe, is it O.K. if I leave the couch? ‘Cause I’m gonna leave the couch now, okay? My ass is falling asleep, so I gotta go. I’m leaving.