Lucas: Mark, who’s your favorite singer?
Mark: Axl.
Lucas: Well if Axl Rose was driving down the highway, and saw Rex Manning stranded on the side of the road, do you think Axl Rose would stop and help him?
Mark:… Does Axl have a jack?

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Mark: Hey, Lucas. I’ve decided I’m going to start a band.
Lucas: The first thing you need is a name. Then you’ll know what kind of band you’ve got.
Mark: Right, right. I was thinking about, um, Marc. How does that sound?
Lucas: Is that with a C or with a K?
Mark: Well my name is with a K, so I was thinking my band’s name could be with a C. That way it’s kind of that psychedelic, you know, trip thing.
Lucas: Always play with their minds.

A.J.: Lucas, do you think it’s possible for a person to be in love with someone else and not even know it?
Lucas: In this life there are nothing but possibilities.
A.J.: Well, that’s good, because I have to tell Corey I love her by 1:37.
Lucas: That’s an excellent time.

Lucas: Warren, look what you took.
Lucas: Rap… metal… rap… metal… And Whitney Houston.
Warren: It’s for my girlfriend, okay?
Lucas: Suuure it is. You know, someone like you needs to diminish their criminal impulses, not magnify them. Maybe some jazz or some classical.
Warren: Maybe you bite me.

Jane: Actually, his new album tested well among teenage males.
Lucas: Jane, did you compare the percentage of teenage male Rex Manning fans to the incidence of homosexuality amongst teenage males?

Lucas: In the immortal words of The Doors, ‘The time to hesitate is through.’