Jean: Oh, fine. What’s this? What’s his problem?
Joyce: He doesn’t feel well.
Jean: Yeah, right. Dry that one out and you can fertilize the lawn.
Ferris: If anybody needs a day off, it’s Cameron. He has a lot of things to sort out before he graduates. He can’t be wound this tight and go to college. His roommate’ll kill him. I’ve come close myself. But I like him. He’s a little easier to take when you know why he’s like he is. The boy cannot relax. Pardon my French but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.
Simone: My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with a girl who saw Ferris pass-out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.
Ferris: This is my ninth day missed. Cameron, I’m not doing this for me, I’m doing this for you.
Ferris: Oh, I’m sorry I can’t come to the door right now. I feel that in my weakened condition I could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further school absences.
Economics Teacher: In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the… Anyone? Anyone?… the Great Depression, passed the… Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered?… raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Laffer Curve. Anyone know what this says? It says that at this point on the revenue curve, you will get exactly the same amount of revenue as at this point. This is very controversial. Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something-d-o-o economics. “Voodoo” economics.
Principal: I wouldn’t trust that kid as far as I could throw him.
Grace: Well, with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn’t be throwing anybody.
Ferris: You fake a stomach cramp, and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.
Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Ferris: Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.
Ferris: If you’re not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend.
Cameron: You’ve been saying that since the fifth grade.
Ferris: Not that I condone facism; or any ism for that matter. Isms, in my opinion, are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in ‘Beatles’, I just believe in me.” Good point there. After all, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus, I’d still have to bum rides off of people.
Heard that you were feeling ill, headaches, fever, and a chill. I’ve been sent to restore your pluck..cause I’m the nurse that likes to.. (door slam)