Chief Karlin: What do you do for a living, Mr. Fletch?
Fletch: I’m a shepherd.
Chief Karlin: Why are you doing this, Mr. Fletch?
Fletch: I like men. I like to be manhandled. I like you.
Kid: Are you a cop?
Fletch: As far as you know. Why? Did you steal this car?
Kid: I sure did.
Fletch: Well, I’m not even sure that’s a crime anymore. There’ve been a lot of changes in the law.
Fletch: I’m John.
Gail Stanwyk: Ohhhh, John. John who?
Fletch: John Cock…tos…ton.
Gail Stanwyk: Thats a beautiful name.
Fletch: It’s Scotch-Romanian.
Gail Stanwyk: That’s an odd combination.
Fletch: So were my parents.
Madeline: I’m sorry, who are you again?
Fletch: I’m Frieda’s boss.
Madeline: Who’s Frieda?
Fletch: My secretary.
Waiter: Would you like to order something, sir? I will put it on the Underhills’ bill.
Fletch: Oh, yes. Very well. I’ll have a Bloody Mary, a steak sandwich and a… steak sandwich.