Egon Spengler: Venkman, get a stool sample.
Peter Venkman: Business, or personal?
Dana: His name is Oscar.
Peter Venkman: Named after a hot dog, you poor man.
Egon Spengler: I’d like to run some gynecological tests on the mother.
Peter Venkman: Who wouldn’t?
Ray Stantz: Ungrateful little yuppie larva.
Dana: Okay, but after dinner, I don’t want you putting any of your old cheap moves on me.
Peter: Ohhhh no! I’ve got all new cheap moves.
Peter: Kinda makes you wonder doesn’t it?
Ray: Wonder what?
Peter: If she’s wearing anything under that toga.
Ray (quoting The Scourge of Moldavia): Time is a window, Death but the doorway, I’ll be back.
Ray Stantz: You mean you never even had a Slinky?
Egon Spengler: We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it.
Peter Venkman: Hi, Egon. How’s school? I bet those science chicks really dig that large cranium of yours, huh?
Egon Spengler: I think they’re more interested in my epididymis.
Psychic: I have a strong psychic belief that the world will end on New Year’s Eve.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, for your sake, I hope you’re right.
The Mayor: Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker’s God-given right.
Talk Show Guest: According to my source, the end of the world will be on February 14th, in the year two thousand and sixteen.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Valentine’s day. Bummer.
Louis Tully: Your Honour, ladies and gentlemen, I don’t think it’s very fair to call my clients frauds. Sure, the blackout was a big problem for everybody. I was trapped in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don’t blame them, because one time, I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You know, I’m a voter. Aren’t you supposed to lie to me and kiss my butt?
Egon Spengler: Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505. Died 1610.
Peter Venkman: 105 years old, he hung in there, didnt he?
Ray Stantz: He didnt die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, steretched, diesemboweled, drawn and quartered.
Peter Venkman: Ouch.
Dana: You’re much better than you realize. You don’t give yourself enough credit.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I need to hear that kind of stuff. You know, if I had this kind of stuff for like on a 24-hour basis, I could have myself whipped into shape by the end of this century.
Prince Vigo: On a mountain of skulls, in a castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood! What was will be! What is will be no more! Now is the season of evil!
Janosz: Dr. Venkman, Dana is not here.
Venkman: Yeah we know that Johnny.
Janosz: So why are you came?
Venkman: Well we heard there was a major creep in the area, we checked our lists and you were right on top.
Janosz: He is Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him!
Janosz: The joyfulness is over!
Talk Show Producer: No respected psychic will come on this show. They all think you’re a fraud.
Peter: I am a fraud!
Janosz: Everything you’re doing is bad. I want you to know this.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Y’know, I’ve met some dumb blondes in my life, but you take the taco, pal! Only a Carpathian would come back to life now and choose New York! If you had brain one in that huge melon on top of your neck, you’d be living the sweet life out in southern California’s beautiful San Fernando Valley!
Venkman: Suck in the guts guys, we’re the Ghostbusters.