Veronica: This may seem like a stupid question…
J.D.: There are no stupid questions.
Veronica: You inherit 5 million dollars on the same day that aliens land on the Earth and say they’re gonna blow it up in two days, what do you do?
J.D.: That’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard.

Veronica: If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn’t be a human being, you’d be a game show host.

Father Ripper: We must pray the other teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio, know the name of that righteous dude who can solve their problems: it’s Jesus Christ, and he’s in the Book!

J.D.: Greetings and salutations… you a Heather?
Veronica Sawyer: No, I’m a Veronica… Sawyer.