History of the World: Part I

Quotations

Narrator: And of course, with the birth of the artist came the inevitable afterbirth – the critic.

Count DeMoney: Sire, the peasents are revolting.
Louis XVI of France: You said it, they stink on ice!

Louis XVI of France: It’s good to be the King.

Auctioneer: Where are you from?
Josephus: Ethiopia.
Auctioneer: What part?
Josephus: 125th Street.

Comicus: The only thing we Romans don’t have a god for is premature ejaculation. But I hear that’s coming quickly!

Empress Nympho: Say Bob, do I have any openings that this man might fit?
Crowd: Whooooaaaaaaa!
Bob: Well, we could use another wine steward.
Josephus: Hey, I got a great corkscrew.
Crowd: Whoooaaaaaaa!
Josephus: Damn, this a hip crowd!