Otis: I put my hand in my mouth after I touched all of that money. Could that be bad?
Max: Of course. That’s how germs are spread.
Kate: I’m going to be 17 tomorrow.
Max: Wow, now you can read Seventeen magazine and get all the references.
Grover: Wouldn’t that have been embarrasing if I had worn my goatee tonight?
Otis: It looks like a chicken wing or a cheese fry.
Otis: It was arousing…violently arousing.
Chet: Otis, did you even read the book?
Max: I’m too nostalgic. I’ll admit it.
Skippy: We graduated four months ago. What can you possibly be nostalgic for?
Max: I’m nostalgic for conversations I had yesterday. I’ve begun reminiscing events before they even occur. I’m reminiscing this right now. I can’t go to the bar because I’ve already looked back on it in my memory…and I didn’t have a good time.
Grover: Ok, the way I see it, if we were an old couple, dated for years, graduated, away from all these scholastic complications, and I reached over and kissed you, you wouldn’t say a word, you’d be delighted, probably, but if I was to do that now it’d be quite forward, and if I did it the first time we ever met you probably would hit me.
Jane: What do you mean?
Grover: I just wish we were an old couple so I could do that.
Max: What I used to be able to pass off as a bad summer could now potentially turn into a bad life.
Chet: How do you make God laugh? Make a plan.
Max: That was more of a yield at that stop sign.
Grover: I broke, thanks.
Max: No, it was more of a yield.