Brodie: Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn for Sega.

Brodie: Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don’t hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent – I don’t care which one – but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.

Jay: Fly fat ass! Fly!

Jay: Where do you get those wonderful toys?

line originally in Batman (1989)

Silent Bob: Adventure, excitement… a Jedi craves not these things.

Brodie: My Grandmother always used to say “why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free”.
T.S. Quint: She said that?
Brodie: All the time, before she became a lesbian on her 60th Birthday, but that’s besides the point.

Jay: Okay, lunchbox, let’s try this again. We tie you to the roof and you jump off and sail like a Spitfire, passing right over the arch-nemisis, LaFors. You then swing up to the stage and knock out the pin. And when that’s gone, the stage is trashed and we go smoke a bowl. You got it? Now, get your fat ass up there. And, dude, don’t forget your helmet. Snoogins.