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God: What are you doing now?
Arthur: Averting our eyes, oh Lord.
God: Well, don’t. It’s just like those miserable psalms, always so depressing.
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More from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Arthur: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
French Soldier: No, now go away before I taunt you a second time.
Bedevere: And how do you burn witches?
Crowd: With more witches!
Bedevere: No,no,no…And why do witches burn?
Peasant: Because…there made…of…wood?
Bedevere: Precisely, so how do we know if she’s made fo wood?
Peasant: Biuld a bridge out of her!
Bedevere: Ah, but can you also not build a bridge out of stone?
Galahad: Look, let me face the peril!
Lancelot: No, no, it’s much too perilous!
Bedevere: What also floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Grape gravy.
Peasant 1: Cherries.
Peasant 2: Mum
Peasant 3: Churches, churches.
Peasant 2: Lead, lead.
Arthur: A duck.
Black Knight: Have at you!
Arthur: You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Black Knight: Oh, had enough eh?
Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard. You’ve got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes I have.
Black Knight: Just a flesh wound!