God: Every time I try to talk to someone it’s “sorry this” and “forgive me that” and “I’m not worthy”…
captivating quotations from movies, television, literature and people - curated by actual geeks.
Arthur: I am your king!
Woman: Well I didn’t vote for you!
Arthur: This new learning amazes me Sir Bedevere. Explain to me again how sheep’s bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more–no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”
Brother Maynard: Amen.
King Arthur: Right. One…two…five!
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three!
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering silmite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!
Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
Knights: We’re Knights of the Round Table. We dance whene’er we’re able. We do routines and chorus scenes With footwork impeccable. We dine well here in Camelot. We eat ham and jam and spam a lot. We’re Knights of the Round Table. Our shows are formidable, But Many times we’re given rhymes That are quite unsingable. We’re opera mad in Camelot. We sing from the diaphragm a lot.
Prisoner: [clap clap clap clap]
Knights: In war we’re tough and able, Quite indefatigable. Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable. It’s a busy life in Camelot.
Knight: I have to push the pram a lot.