French Knight: You don’t frighten us, English pig dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called “Arthur King,” you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

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More from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Woman: Dennis! There’s some lovely filth down here!

Head Knight of Ni: We are no longer the Knights who Say Ni!
Knight of Ni: Ni!
Knights of Ni: Shh!
Head Knight of Ni: We are now the Knights who Say… ekki-ekki-ekki-ekki-ptang-zoom-boing-mrowr!
King Arthur: Well, Knights of… Knights who up till recently said ‘Ni…’

King of Swamp Castle: When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. And that one sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that’s what you’re going to get, Son, the strongest castle in all of England.

King Arthur: We have ridden the length and bredth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Guard: What, ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes.
Guard: You’re using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
Guard: You’ve got two empty ‘alves of coconuts and you’re bangin’ em together!

Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!